Do you run the Guilt Trip Travel Agency?

Sometimes people are not even aware that they are guilt tripping others - although I know a few that are VERY aware that they do!

Guilt tripping is when we manipulate someone to make them do something they didn't want to do.

The best "guilt trippers" are of course DOGS!! I have the prime examples in my household! Sitting and looking at you with those sad"puppy dog" eyes...master manipulators!! And they win each time!

So they condition us into getting their own way...and we fall for it every time. After all...they are animals, helpless animals and we are supposed to look after them!! KNOW THAT FEELING?? Of course you do!

I also see this guilt tripping on Facebook when it comes to animals...people make you believe that you shouldn't buy a puppy from a breeder - rather get one from the shelter...buying a PURE BRED puppy from a breeder does NOT make you a MONSTER!!

The second best tour guides to guilt trips are MOTHERS!

For generations guilt provoking mothers are everywhere. It doesn't matter what you do, it's never good enough. Even if you are over 50 your Mother still thinks of you as a child and she hasn't accepted that you can think for yourself, make your own decisions (and mistakes).

Here is a NEWSFLASH for you...if your mother makes you feel that way...it is because she is projecting her own guilty feelings of inadequacy onto you!! Or maybe she just can't let go...Or maybe it actually has nothing to do with you...and are ingrained behavior that comes from her relationship with her own parents? 

Should you confront here next time you recognize this behavior? Probably not, but understanding where it comes from will hopefully give you a mechanism to cope with it. 

Guilt is a painful emotion - that is why it is such a powerful tool to get others to do what YOU want them to do. Because of this we will always try and get rid of it and if we can't, we often get angry at the person who is making us feel guilty! There is only ONE way of getting rid of these guilt trips...

The price we pay for this type of behavior is much higher than we actually think. Although if I asked you straight out...do you resent the "guilt tripper" your answer would probably be NO! 

Because this occurs mainly in very close relationships we are "conditioned"  that it is acceptable behavior. The target normally has very strong feelings towards the perpetrator and it is exactly these feelings that are being used to make the "victim" behave the way the guilt tripper wants!!

GUILT ACTUALLY POISONS OUR RELATIONSHIPS! And like many people that are murdered through poisoning...they never even know it (or expected it) until it was TOO LATE!!

Start by telling the guilty party that you would be more eager to assist them in doing what they wanted if they ASKED YOU DIRECTLY.

* Set some boundaries.
* Be Kind 
* Be Patient
* Avoid Name calling
* Be aware of your own behavior

(although it isn't easy... it is the only way to break this cycle of EMOTIONAL ABUSE)





Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.